In my infant years I was encouraged to use a nappy and later and developed an art in using the mobile potty.

Later I progressed to more fixed earthenware. True the fixed ware is a boring white colour and not at all decorated with Winnie the Pooh motifs but it is fully functional and was always in the same place, i.e. not wherever the potty was left (I digress). I have even been taught how to clean the bowl after use (using the brushes supplied) and been skilled in to the various flushing techniques. I have even been trained in water conservation. However today, at SSR, I am faced with a new challenge.

Having arisen late and incomplete in my ablutions, I took time to attend the lavatory. Here I entered one of the two cubicles, where to my horror I found my world was being radically challenged. For having removed my trousers and about to take seat, a large sign, writ red, proclaimed that I am to use the window (and presumably not the bowl I have been accustomed and trained to use).


The sign further instructed me to “close the window after use.”

Of course this is all very easy for me (although I am concerned that shorter ones amongst us might struggle to reach the ledge, perch safely like a bird on a washing line before pouring forth upon the parked cars below, however, I guess the person making this new policy has considered the safety concerns)! Now in my fear I vacated the room before competing my endeavours and before I revisit would like some assistance.

I have three questions, are we to be trained in this new way of using window ledge toilets (if so, may I be excused, you see I am easily embarrassed and to be honest the though of watching one of my peers defecating out of a window is not one I wish to retain). Secondly, do we shout before using the window or will the usual noises suffice as a warning to those walking below) and finally, who wrote the sign?